"Most of these kids had been abandoned by the system and, in some cases, even by their families, making me the only person who could really lead them through the turmoil." (teacher)
Walking the halls of our aging school, seeing the ceiling sag, the band hall without risers or carpet or instrument storage, fire extinguisher cases without covers, writing on the walls, an announcement system that cuts out every 30 seconds, no track or baseball or soccer fields, aging textbooks or no textbooks for some classes, few non-sports extracurricular activities, no AP classes, poor internet with no wifi, no usable television network, an inconsistent tardy and discipline system, no lockers, no after school clubs, no art program, no real mentoring program, insufficient sexual and family health education, and little help for the emotional life issues of students, I would say that ALL the kids in my district have been abandoned by the system and, in some cases, even by their families. Much is being done to help and improve the education of the students - everything from building renovations to higher evaluation standards for teachers, but I still look upon the school complex and come away seeing what is lacking. But as much as the educational system has left our students behind, I am most certainly not a person to lead them through the turmoil.
Sometimes I feel that by being present in the classroom I cannot have that much of an impact on the young adults I teach, but if/when I were to leave especially mid-year, the hole I left behind would affect every child in a negative way. Another science teacher in my school who was a part of another alternate licensure program left in December because her husband got a new job in another state. She was not an effective teacher or classroom manager and most of her kids misbehaved every day, but even I could tell that the students were hurt when hearing of her last days. Now the long-term sub in that position has no teaching experience, is not involved in education outside of this school, but does have a college degree in the subject matter. The sub is also leaving once the year is done in May. It is very difficult to look out into our surrounding communities and imagine a person with high qualifications staying unless they were already rooted in the community. The only teacher I can imagine being in my position in the near future, then, is one affiliated with MTC. In looking backwards, before me there was another MTC teacher, and before that, (as far as I know) stood a college-educated teacher with an actual education degree, going on retirement, who required students to go out and find their own frogs as a homework assignment for the live dissection they were to do in class.
"In some ways, it's almost like I was more than just a teacher to those children. I was a real mentor who was able to connect with them and fully understand their backgrounds and help them become the leaders of tomorrow." (teacher)
Many days, I don't even feel like a teacher to my students. As we inch closer to the state test and the end of the year, they seem less interested in what I have to say or work I have for them to practice, and more interested in whispering back and forth to someone across the room. This is not helped by my administration, who today wrote that because students need to "loosen up" for the state tests, they will be able to be out of uniform for free for an entire week. I do want to help them pass their requirements, which include passing my subject's state test, and I do want them to become more well-rounded individuals so that they can function as leaders once they leave this school system and step out into the "real world." By the time that I have them in my tenth grade classes, they have had so much going on in their families and friendships that the majority of students are, instead of kids, adults walking around in a pubescent body, unable to cope with the variety of emotions caused by their raging hormones and day-to-day life experiences.
"I fully understand that our nation is currently facing an extreme shortage of teachers and that we all have to make do with what we can get. But does that really mean we have to be stuck with some privileged college grad who completed a five-week training program and now wants to document every single moment of her life-changing year on a Tumblr?" (student response)Guilty. Except I chronicle on Instagram. And it's a two year program.
"Graduating high school is the only way for me to get out of the malignant cycle of poverty endemic to my neighborhood and to many other impoverished neighborhoods throughout the United States. I can't afford to spend these vital few years of my cognitive development becoming a small thread in someone's inspirational narrative." (student response)
"Ultimately, I suppose I can never know exactly how much of an impact I had on my students, but I do know that for me it was a fundamentally eye-opening experience and one I will never forget." (teacher)I hope that my reasons for joining and my reasons for being here are not simply to develop an inspirational narrative. And I hope that those I interact with do not come to that conclusion, either. All I can do for right now is help equip the students I currently have with knowledge required to pass a test needed for graduation. The kids, the parents, the administration know that in order for these children and young adults to break their cyclical generational poverty, they need to do what is necessary to get the hell away from here. But all of us also know that in order to "fix" and sustain the local system, we need people to receive necessary qualifications and come BACK to the community because the schools must be run by those in and from the area. I do not know who will be standing in my position after I have left. I would be delusional, though, to think that my time in Mississippi will be anything but a fundamentally eye-opening experience that I will never forget.
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